I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
