We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
