You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
