Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
