where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
