i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
