I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
