they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
