need another drink. this is the easiest way
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are your genitals available?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize