i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
