Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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