I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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