new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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