you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
