i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
