I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
