So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize