literally had 100 drinks last night.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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