Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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