I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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