my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
