yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
