I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
