I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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