is wine microwaveable?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
