Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
