I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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