what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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