i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
