Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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