Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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