Umm I'm too high to move.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
