when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
