She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
