Tell her she can't have a vagina
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
