Im at strip club and am horny
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize