Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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