Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
