Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
