well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
