the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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