Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
