Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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