I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
