No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
