carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize