she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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