Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
