at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
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