I wish you could order shots online.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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