As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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