Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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