it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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