Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
