I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
