And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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