I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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