My first STD was from a foam party
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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