Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
