Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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