i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The beer is more important than you right now.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
