The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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