No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
