8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
